Читать онлайн полностью бесплатно Марк Каберман - LA – NY Dreaming

LA – NY Dreaming

Стихотворения, пропитанные атмосферой Калифорнии, где жизнь никогда не перестает кипеть. Они о любви, потерянности, нахождении себя и, наконец, о вере в лучшее будущее.

Книга издана в 2023 году.

1

Little city is sleeping
No more lights anywhere
On the edge you were sitting
Saying life is unfair
The lights are off
The music is on
Flowers in my hands
They make me feel fabulous
High tea in the afternoon
Coffee in the evening
Trying to make something good
Trying to experience my feelings
This feeling is named empty
Which means this city is
Just nothing but a lies
Where we are die
Five minutes of nothing
Just a numerous of empty words
Trying to keep going
Keeping, keeping and keeping, holding swords
In my hands
Reading Brodsky and Nabokov,
Singing Jopling and Cobain,
The things I’m trying to understand
And to become the biggest fan of…
Give me camera and 00’s
Give me drugs and 90’s
Give me music and 80’s
Give me nothing and 70’s

2

Look into my eyes, look
Just take it and see
Just take
And see
Don’t pay attention to me
Who should I be?
Just your neighbor
Behind the closed doors
Look at the clocks
Late? Ok.
Door opens
And you can’t see
This is the end
Who should I be?
What shall I do?
Or maybe you’re in love with me too?

3

Sirens are screaming so loud
I can hear it all around
What goes up must come down
Whatever it takes, it doesn’t matter now
Blue lights lightning so bright
Neon lights are gonna shine
This night was made for the fight
Road was owned by me tonight
Dark Horse is free
It counts to three
There’s no trouble to me
That’s what I’m gonna be
The other side of me
Wanna be free
I’m shining brighter
Cause it’s a fighter
And when you’re gone tonight
I was waiting all night
Waiting for you all alone
That’s when there were things I told
Sirens are screaming so loud
There are many things I’ve learned about
Now I’ve learned how
I was easy when I found
That I’m more free now
Cause what goes up must come down

4

Well, I thought I’ll die
But there was a fire
And if I ever thought there’s no hope
I was mistaken while taking the rope
Now it’s all just different
After all the things we did
Now it’s all just crystal clear
For me that I have no fear
I feel this wind
It brings me to the summer
The summer with the ring
Which mentally on my finger
Felling this pretty music on my skin
And now it’s all crystal clear
That we’re meant to be together
After the day we met and ran into each other
Forever
Well, I didn’t know your name at all
Now I do and think about you
So I smoke a cigarette of yours
And want you to come to
Me, holding, listening Lana’s songs
Riding on the road all night long
You still don’t know me wild
But I think soon you will find

5

I thought if I could find love
Waking up at 3 am from a nightmare
I found out that I will not
That it’s unfair
My city is asleep
So I can’t wake this up
Can’t make it feel what I do feel
And I can’t say that to my dad
He disappeared as all the men
My mom felt the same way
As I do now
But God, not now
Loneliness made me better
Love of mine, you were so wrong
When you got out of this picture
And told “I don’t love you, no”
Weather is about raining
But I never liked it
You did
You made me to keep falling
So I found out I can’t keep
Trying as you did
I like it when it’s hot
The heat makes me feel good
The wind in my hair, oh God
I bet you’d like to feel it too
Now it’s ended just like wine
My glass is empty
So we’re both feeling fine
Now we’re both happy
My birthday is coming
And I’m wondering if you’ll call
I gave up on fighting
I promise, but if you don’t want to, then don’t
Yesterday I thought about buying candles
Then saw your face on the cover of the paper
I’ve cried enough tears about you
Now I do not love you
Thank you
I want to feel that heat
Wonder if I fit in it
People talking all around
They did it before about us
They don’t know that I found
Myself in my loneliness, plus
One more time I’ll think ‘bout you
I’m searching for you in every single guy on the street
Now I need to cool
You’re gone, so I don’t feel any responsibility
As all the men, you’re gone
So I don’t need no one more

7. Mother America

Mother America,
I’m flying on a plain in the air
I got stamina
So how do I dare
To take everything in this world
When everything’s so unfair?
I remember what my mom told
Once she decided to turn it off
And to take care about all.
Mother America,
Your ground been blessed
But we’re so stressed out
So what do we do now?
Now I’m looking at New York
Its billboards are so high
I can read a lotta names on it
What we’re all looking for?
I tell you – for a time that gets by
So I pray for it.
I’m looking at the Lady Liberty
She’s so beautiful.
Ready to look at her all night long.
Oh, Lady Liberty,
Tell us what we doing wrong?
I’m looking at the ocean
Right from your crown.
Freedom is my poison
And I feel it now.
Chemtrails above my head…
I can feel them.
They just like teenage love
Once they appeared – then they have gone.
The ocean blue eyes in my memory will be there forever.
I won’t regret about it,
Cause it was just a fever.
So I see the sky as it was once before,
When I was a kid and I’ve seen everything in screaming colour.
And as underestimated singer
I write from the bridge.
Million people love her
But I wanna reach what she didn’t reach.
I will write poetry looking at the Manhattan.
Thinking that somewhere there a man
I could fall in love with.
But once he has gone.
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