Читать онлайн полностью бесплатно Nikolay Lakutin - Аlone with yourself

Аlone with yourself

Everyone in life has had situations that you want to remember at every convenient and even not always convenient occasion. There are stories that are pleasant to remember, but do not want to tell.

Автор:

Книга издана в 2019 году.

Для подготовки обложки издания использована художественная работа автора. Обложка книги разработана автором в дизайнерской программе и является интеллектуальной собственностью НиколаяЛакутина.

Manifesto

I have repeatedly raised the question in my works about human relations, support, mutual assistance, spoke about the successful implementation of the plan of CIA Director Allen Dallas in action, saw a lot of bad things, noticed many people terrible things, transferring them to their work and bringing thoughts to you. But reading, seeing, talking about such situations, each of us warms at the subconscious level thought:

– "It's not going to happen to us."

Happened…

***

On the eve of the new 2013, I was returning home from work. He held very successful negotiations, concluded several interesting contracts in terms of Finance and with a sense of accomplishment, being in a good mood, went home. Was not yet twelve o'clock noon, had almost the whole day, not burdened by any worries that only enhances the mood with every passing mile towards the house. Outside beauty. Snow-shrouded branches of trees, frosty sketches on the Windows of trade pavilions, almost empty streets and a weak flow of cars. Well, still, frost thirty degrees, beauty, especially beautiful it all looks through the glass from the salon of a warm car, and even when you're not in a hurry, you are in good health and quite happy with life.

This is a very nice warm feeling of peace I wanted to renew and I turned off the main road on the bypass, so will have to go much longer and slower than what was required at the moment. And after passing a few noticeable intersections leading to the private sector, I saw a woman on the side of the road, which timidly raised his right hand for a second and immediately lowered it. This gesture was like a greeting suddenly met an old friend, in front of me was driving a solid black Lexus, a fairly large roomy "SUV", which began to slow down, approaching the woman. There was no doubt that this car had come to pick her up, but the moment I tried to make a maneuver to overtake him, Lexus began to rapidly gain speed and went to the point. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, the fact that from that second I lost sight of him and never saw him again, perhaps because for a moment I noticed a standing woman, the view of which I was opened by a quickly leaving black "Lex".

It was a woman about forty or forty– five years old, who covered his face covered with a sweat mitten on his left hand, and the right again timidly brought up. I realized she was "voting," and apparently for a long time. Returning to his lane and moving just a couple of three meters, I saw a snowdrift standing next to a woman wheelchair, which sat a boy not older than ten years. The guy was clearly wearing a few jackets, as buttons on his autumn jacket barely kept the tension. On her head was tightly laced hat, hand mittens, my hands were like frozen down to a wheelchair and frantically shaking. More I could not see, as the span was too small, and I quickly rushed past them, barely holding the car in his track, not knowing how to behave. I felt some paralysis of the brain, I could not concentrate and understand what to press, whether on the brake pedal, or on the gas pedal. Behind me crowded several cars, and not to create interference and accidents, stop on the icy road, I did not, and immediately felt the most defective creature, the last cursed creature in the world. And most worryingly, I cursed myself with such ferocity and hatred, which is only capable of. Explain why.

In the side view mirror, I saw that no car following me had stopped. I realized that the Lexus, which was driving ahead of me, wanted to "taxanomy", but after seeing a disabled child drove past, and it does not matter why. Maybe I was afraid that behind him will enter I may not want to deal with such passengers, to pick up and put the kid in a saloon, and a wheelchair to be placed in the Luggage compartment in which there may not be enough, and maybe just stupidly lazy, or maybe he, like me, impressed by what he saw, was not able to Orient correctly and passed, as the car cannot wait until the driver decides to stop or to slow down. The fact is, he drove just like me, just like the rest of us. I realized that all those who were ahead of us from the moment the woman with the child came to the road passed by. Yeah, she's not very well got up, its hard to see, nowhere to find room for oneself to the curb in case someone is still willing to stay, and indeed everyone has their own business, their concerns and could she call a taxi and no problem, not merznut to go where you want, but! I know it's all excuses. I drove past.

The fact that I'm not in a hurry, I had time and opportunity to take these passengers, at least in Berdsk, at least in the Ob, anywhere in Novosibirsk and my arm would have fallen off and withered language, if I said a word about money.

I just for a moment drew attention to a woman with a child and not all have time to consider and assess the situation, but I saw the eyes of a child, mental fever which I have adopted in looking at himself, and he does not leave me until now. The child was chilled to the bone, his eyes were empty, his cold gaze did not contain a drop of hope, he was immersed in problems of a much larger scale than trembling and chills from the cold, which mercilessly dealt with his weak defenseless body, wrapped in rags. I tell you so much about what I saw in the look of a guy who caught a split second from the moment of perception of the overall picture, not because he is rich in imagination, but because I see these eyes in front of me and now, when I write this appeal. I suddenly thought that fate had it I was sent to help these poor people, and I didn't meet her expectations.



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